Everywhere I look men seem to be in a dilemma. Women have come through the feminist movement and are now asserting their equality which is a good thing because we are all equal. However what we seem to be forgetting is that they are different. Men and women need to embrace their differences not hide them. Men and women need to be their own gender not their opposite. Last but not least they need to achieve a balance between their masculine and feminine energy.
How To Be A Man
Men are born with a dominance of masculine energy but without the balance of feminine energy a man’s male condition will leave him weak, intimidated by strong women, lonely and confused.
It appears that women all over the world have overcompensated for their unequal treatment and are now forcefully exploring their masculine energy. Instead of moving to the balance point between masculine and feminine many women who have strong spirits have also moved all the way across to our side and are swimming in their masculine energy.
The problem for men is that they are intimidated and scared. They are cowering under the wave of these powerful women because no one has taught them how to be a man. They don’t know how to achieve balance. We can see this all around us in the men we meet. They are either weakened (not weak) or they have tried to overcompensate by moving to the extreme of masculine energy.
I am going to show you how to fix this! I’m going to show you how to be a man AND how to incorporate feminine energy which will strengthen you.
Male Or Masculine Energy Is The Following.
8. Solar energy
Female Or Feminine Energy Is The Opposite.
8. Lunar energy
Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy in them to varying degrees. The key is balance. Life will not go well for you if you are all “doing” without “being” It’s like only living for the goal and not enjoying the journey. The goal is the doing and the being is the journey. As many men do – you will find that once you achieve a goal you will need to move to the next. Without some form of “being” you will find emptiness once your goals are achieved. It’s easy to fix this when you find the balance between masculine and feminine.
Men have not been taught how to express their masculine energy and how to incorporate their feminine energy in order to be complete. That’s why there is an attraction between the genders. Men run around looking at women and women run around passively looking to see if they are being looked at. This is the outward expression of balancing masculine and feminine.
10 Tips On How To Be A Man
What does it mean to be a man? How do you embrace your masculinity and how do you express it? Here are 10 key points that will show you how to be a man. The tenth and final tip is the one to wait for because it will show you how to integrate the first nine points.
1. Put Yourself First.
This doesn’t mean to be selfish and not consider others. It means just put yourself first. Ensure your own happiness on the big things in life. Commit to and follow your own path, this leads to your happiness. If you are not happy then those around you will not be happy, simple as that. You cannot run your life catering only to others you have to commit to yourself above any other person. Deep down inside you know that this is correct and if you don’t do this you will lose your self respect and this will be noticed and picked up on by other people including your spouse/partner.
You are a man and you are not supposed to be domesticated. This doesn’t mean you go to strip clubs every night and you never wash the dishes – it means you have to commit first and foremost to what your mission in life is. You have to put who you are before who you love. It certainly doesn’t mean you become a workaholic. Your mission in life may be an abstract concept like embracing change or responsibility and your career can help you fulfil this, but you still need balance. Allowing yourself to be domesticated means you have given up on your mission, placing other people or situations above your own. Strength and confidence are gained by doing what you are meant to do and guidance on this comes from your internal world. When you put yourself first you are beginning to “be” and creating balance between masculine doing and feminine being.
2. Be Responsible
Don’t run away. If you start something finish it. That doesn’t mean you stay for the rest of your life but you have to follow through and see things to an amicable end. In other words don’t quit your job or leave your family without a very good reason and a well thought out exit. Give your employer notice and provide for your family’s future. Don’t run away.
Look around you and take responsibility for the way things are now. It was your past thoughts, actions and choices that led you here. You are also responsible for the inputs in your life. Negative people, images and situations will influence you and hold you back so choose wisely. If you want something different create it – you are a man.
Do what it takes to get the job done. If you have to lift your game, work smarter not just harder and accept responsibility for your mistakes. Don’t let others take your fall. Being responsible requires surrendering to the current situation and making the most of it or doing the most with it.
3. Make Decisions
You live in a world of choice that allows you to create your own future. You stagnate when you cannot choose a clear road but when you are decisive and move forward you blossom. This is because your mind works like a heat seeking missile. A firm decision locks you onto a clear path and creates opportunity. Opportunity allows you to be creative. Creativity born from the movement of decision is a perfect blend of masculine and feminine energy. Be a decision maker don’t procrastinate just make the decision. Often there is no right and wrong just a result. Use the result to learn and change your future decisions. Follow your heart and inner voice when you make your decisions – don’t make them to please others. People can sense when you are not genuine and it erodes your being.
4. Face Your Fears
Your fears are here for you to face. Everyone’s fears are different so learn yours and conquer them. I’m not talking about being scared of jumping from a plane this is a natural physical fear born from the fact that you don’t have wings. The type of fear I’m talking about is abstract – when I was an employee I had a fear of going out on my own – I saw that as my signal to go forth and conquer. Not everyone has this fear some of you can do this naturally and others would not even think of it. I have had clients who identified that they had a fear of talking to a certain person or saying they were sorry or admitting mistakes and having romantic relationships – the list goes on. Don’t run and hide like a coward – face your fears this will lead you to peace.
5. Accept Failure, Loss And Even Death
This concept was taught to me by a hardcore martial artist when I was a lot younger and it has many hidden layers of meaning. When you face an opponent in battle you need to accept that you can lose or that you could die. It doesn’t mean that you want it to happen or that you should dwell on it. It means that you accept the fact that it’s a possibility and you need to make peace with this. This will free your mind and enable you to perform to the best of your ability. The concept extends to all areas of life. In business you need to accept that you may go bankrupt, lose all your money and live in your friend’s shed. Once you make peace with that, you will be free to succeed. In relationships you need to stop being clingy. Accept that your partner may find someone else or leave you on a whim. This will free your mind, stop you being controlling and possessive and enable you to have a loving and healthy relationship.
6. Express Your Love
Men are doers which means you have to give love. Tell the people you like that you like them. Tell those you love that you love them. Express your love or like through action but don’t forget that words are action also. People like to feel appreciated and the expression of love is great for your soul as well as theirs. Receive their love in return. Receiving is the feminine so embrace it and you will feel complete. Stop sucking the energy of others by waiting to be loved. Be the initiator and express love to the world. Following your heart’s desire through relationships, career, business, hobbies and any action is the expression of this love.
7. Express Your Sexuality
We are all sexual beings. Men are designed with testosterone and this leads to the desire for lots of sex, so have it. Don’t run away from this fact and allow yourself to be tamed. Don’t be afraid of your kinks, fantasies and desires – make peace with them. If you fight against them they will grow strong and have power over you. If you ignore them you will block the flow of sexual energy and rob yourself of vitality. Allow yourself to receive pleasure instead of just giving it, this incorporates your feminine side.
Don’t be ruled by your lust. Lust is a powerful emotion that can make you do things that you don’t want to do. There is a subtle difference between being in control and fulfilling your needs and wants, versus being controlled by lust. There are techniques to channel or diffuse unwanted sexual energy. Lust can be channelled into positive energy that can be utilized in others areas of your life.
8. Master Yourself Physically
Be proud of your body. Have enough self-respect to stay trim and healthy. You don’t need to become an Olympic athlete but your physical body needs care and attention. Everything you do in life including thinking is influenced by the body that you are tied to. Look after it and respect it. Men are supposed to be strong and physical so get stronger and fitter, you don’t have to be the next Schwarzenegger just do something – 10 push-ups before dinner is better than a beer.
9. Respect Other Men And Women.
You don’t need to put anyone down or hurt another person without good reason and the only good reason is self-defense and then only as a last resort. Put downs include making jokes about another person. If you make a joke at the expense of another you are only saying “I don’t think I’m as good as you, so I want to bring you down a notch or two – this will make me appear better to those around me”
Other men, even those you compete with are not your enemy. Allow them to express themselves and respect that they may choose a different way to yours. Women are your opportunity to learn the way to balance in your life. They can show you what you don’t know. They don’t need to be feared or vilified their difference is a gift to you. Appreciate them.
10. Master Your Inner World
All of the points raised are impossible without this tenth and final point. Without mastering your inner world you are a pawn that can be swayed, controlled and influenced by your own emotional reaction and that of those around you.
There are 5 keys things to learn which will enable you to master your inner world.
1. You need to learn to be present and in the “now” not daydreaming of the past or future. Exercising this faculty is masculine and being in this state is feminine.
2. You can learn to stand apart from your thoughts and watch them, allowing you to choose whether you follow them, change them or ignore them. This gives you control over your future and brings you peace and happiness.
3. Recognize when you are being emotional and find the thoughts that generate the emotion. If you have practiced the last step this will become easy.
4. Question the thinking process that led to your emotion. Ask “why” and ask “why” again to uncover your base fear. The fear that hides inside you allowed the emotion to take its grip on you.
5. Clear these emotional blocks so that your inner voice/being/guide whatever you wish to name it can shine through. This allows the “real you” to emerge. This allows your inner voice to guide you and this shows you the way forward, through feeling rather than emotion.
Your inner world is the key to understanding yourself. This is the way to peace and happiness. Balancing the masculine and feminine energy is done through expressing your active male side and allowing your passive female side through. This is the key to feeling complete.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares is an International Life Coach with clients all over the world. He is based in Melbourne Australia for personal appointments or you can benefit from coaching via Skype anywhere in the world.