What I find interesting is that many people struggle to make meaningful connections with other people. The ability to connect with others gives your life a richness that cannot be found without connection. Here are eleven tips on how to connect with people.
11 Tips – To Help You Connect With People
Obviously there are different types of connections from intimate relationships to business associates. The principle how ever are the same for all relationships.
1. Be Present
The ability to be present in the moment is something that I like to teach all my clients. It’s a valuable skill that needs to be practiced. Make no mistake that this is a gift that you are giving others. If you doubt this just monitor how you feel when you are trying to communicate a message to someone and they are not listening. There are different degrees of being present but most people spend the majority of their day in a daydream state, that means you are missing what your life has to offer you.
To connect with people you need to listen to the other person when they are communicating with you. This goes hand in hand with being present. Most people daydream about what they will say next in the conversation – this is NOT listening. When you listen, be accepting of what the other person tells you. People are afraid to share with others because they fear the consequence of their revelation. Without your acceptance they will not continue to be open. Don’t use the situation to only tell your story, to them.
3. Initiate Contact To Connect With People
Everyone is afraid to initiate contact first. We are all human and have similar fears so don’t wait for someone to come to you. Make the first move. If you are a man it’s more important to do this because it is the masculine energy of action that facilitates this. To wait for them to make the first move is in line with feminine energy. It’s important to find balance between masculine and feminine energy so you decide what you need in this area.
4. Be Genuine, Honest And Your Authentic self.
Be yourself because that’s what you are giving. There is no point in trying to be someone or something that you are not. If you pretending to be someone else, you will eventually be found out when the relationship moves from its initial stages. There is no point in deceiving anyone. Remember when you are not yourself and you hold back – you are depriving the other person of YOU. There is only one unique YOU and to withhold that during any interaction impacts negatively on a relationship. Give compliments – but don’t make them up. People can sense if your compliments are genuine – if you can’t think of a compliment, instead find the best thing that you can about the other person.
5. Be Open
What is there to hide? Give of yourself, especially if it’s warranted and the other person is genuinely interested. By holding back you miss the unique opportunity of that individual connection at that particular moment n time. The other person may miss an important message – something that they would benefit from. Conversely you may miss an opportunity. When you are closed the other person senses this and it prevents most people from opening up themselves.
6. Positive Body language
Body language shows how much you are interested in the other person. Be open to them – not closed. Face them and make the appropriate movements that show your interest and show that you are open. This can be as simple as eye contact instead of continually scanning the area for someone or something else. This also extends to mobile phones – you don’t need to see who is ringing you in the middle of a conversation with someone else unless the future of the world and known universe hangs in the balance.
7. Become Interested In Them & Ask Questions
Be naturally curious about people, ask them questions and show interest. Don’t interrogate. It’s an interrogation if they answer all your questions and you don’t answer theirs. Show interest in the other person and their life. If they don’t want to answer any questions and are closed to you then that’s telling you, that they are not interested in making a connection for some reason.
8. Find Common Ground.
If you can find common interests you will have a rich source for conversation. This is why sport can hold such a prominent position in Men’s lives – it’s an easy way to find common ground. Ie: did you watch the football on the weekend? To find common ground you have to start a conversation, use your imagination or try something about the event you are at, people you may both know or the music that’s currently playing.
Have empathy for others. Try and understand what they are going through, what they are feeling and what it’s like to be in their shoes. To do this you need to be open to another point of view even if it’s different to your own. This is easier if you refuse to identify with an opinion and instead regard it as only one way of thinking, which is not necessarily “right” Don’t be afraid of feeling the emotion that comes with empathy, it makes you human.
10. Demonstrate That You Like/Love Them
No one will know if you like them or not unless you show some signs. This can be as simple as a greeting with a smile. If it’s someone you love, tell them that you love them. If it’s some one you like, start with the basics and make them a priority by remembering their name, perhaps acknowledging their birthday, likes or a common interest.
11. Aim To Be Close / Intimate
This doesn’t mean aim for sex. I mean, make your aim to get closer to the other person. Rather than just having a surface relationship with them, aim to share something, try to see into the other person so that you understand them. Share something of yourself with them. Deeper relationships come from sharing personal stories.
I can lead you through the process of healing a relationship or connecting with someone. You will get some amazing results. Have a look at my Life Coaching page and contact me now so that we can get started.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares is an International Life Coach with clients all over the world. He is based in Melbourne Australia for personal appointments or you can benefit from coaching via Skype anywhere in the world.