We all have our challenges in life. Our biggest challenges can be summarised into groups which I have described in this article. Having helped hundreds of clients over the years and even more people through the course of my life it’s apparent that all of our problems are able to be solved. I am confident of this as I have seen the results in myself and in my clients. I am constantly amazed that people need to suffer at all when I believe that the solution is easy and close by. All of your suffering comes from your mind and changing perception for the relief of pain may be a lot easier than you think.
Here the 12 biggest challenges in life and some solutions
1. Your Relationships With Others
Relationships are what life is all about and sometimes they are not easy. Meaningful relationships beyond the superficial are important to your being. In my role as a life coach I have seen all sorts of dis-function in relationships between, friends, lovers, parent and child, business associates and relatives of all sorts. All of these problems can be fixed with simple techniques that shift perspective and allow changes in patterned behavior. Here are five issues (of many more) to focus on that will greatly improve all of your relationships.
- Have you set your own boundaries and are you clear on where the line is drawn?
- Do you fight fair during arguments?
- Can you manage your emotions during interactions with people so that you can see clearly?
- Do you show others that you care or appreciate them?
- Are you present and listening when others talk or do you daydream about what to say next?
2. The Relationship You Have With Yourself
The most important relationship is with yourself. It’s amazing how many people don’t respect themselves and this is born from self esteem issues. What you think of yourself, reflects out into the world and dictates how others subconsciously perceive you and in turn, treat you. For many people everyday events and decisions create insecurity and leave you with a feeling that is best described as being unsure of yourself.
The belief structure that you have in place that holds you in this pattern of thinking can be broken and changed for the better. Work on forgiving yourself for past mistakes and behaviors, positive self talk and accepting yourself for who and what you are.
For most people one of the greatest challenges in life is the way you relate to money. Everyone is running around trying to earn money sometimes placing it’s value above all else. It’s interesting to see that the vast majority live hand to mouth and have missed some basic skills on how to get ahead financially. Far beyond the basics of budgets, managing risk and investment principles comes the issue of your relationship to money. It’s easy to change this once you become aware of what to look at. You need to discover what beliefs have been buried deep into the recesses of your mind. Do you understand the law of attraction and the way that emotion pushes money away from you? You need to learn to manage emotion without blocking your feelings.
4. Fear Of Not Being Loved
This is also entwined with self esteem and you may have a deep rooted fear of not being lovable that manifests in weight gain or behavioral issues that you can use as an excuse to blame “just in case” you really are not lovable. This shield that you use for protection can be lowered and a whole new world of love can open for you. There is no need for loneliness and isolation from meaningful relationships. I can show you how to receive all the love you want. It starts by looking at the positives that you can already see about yourself and building on them consistently.
5. Emotions / No Emotions
This is a major issue because it effects pretty much everyone to some degree. Many people are dictated to, by their emotions. Others are so scared of emotion that they block all feeling.
People who are ruled by emotion whether they show it or not suffer from the following among other things,
- Getting angry at the drop of a hat
- Allowing envy to destroy relationships
- Being led by lust instead of choosing lustful situations
- Jealousy that ruins relationships
- Fear of … add something here because there is an endless list of what people are too frightened to do.
Don’t let emotion rule you life. By being present and watching your thought process, you can learn to unravel your emotional turmoil without blocking your feelings. Feeling are essential because they guide you to your true destination.
Blocked emotions and feelings are just as bad. Many people are unable to cope with emotion so the easiest way to overcome the problem is to block all feeling and use your mind and logic instead. Unfortunately this is bad for people as feelings are your guide to happiness and show your direction in life. This happened to me many years ago when I was in service with the Police Force. It was necessary to control my emotions and inadvertently I ended up blocking them. It took some time after my change of career to open up to feeling again. It can be done as I have have done it! It requires focus and persistence in regard to being aware of the tiny remaining thread of feeling that’s buried deep in your mind.
6. Spirituality / Religion / Meaning of Life
Behind all conscious beings lie questions about the meaning of life and the purpose of our existence. This search is often postponed until late in life or blocked entirely because the questions that arise are difficult to answer. Unless you have a strong leaning in this regard, often this area of life can’t be addressed until more base needs are met and taken care of. Once the basics of life are taken care of people often ask the important questions. Sometimes this comes out as a quest for life / work balance and for others it manifest as subscribing to a process or philosophy. Spiritual practices and basic religions take precedence once you become conscious in this area. It’s important to explore these area’s by keeping an open mind and trying different ways of viewing the world.
7. Fear of Death
Many people are afraid of death as it’s the great unknown. Your fear of death can depend on how you look at the subject. There is a wealth of information available that will at the very least partially explain what we all will eventually face. It’s your belief system that will provide relief in this regard and addressing your spiritual needs will solve this problem if you keep an open mind.
8. National Or Global Concerns
You can only influence that which you have control over. So unless you are going to do something and get directly involved it’s pointless worrying over something that may never effect you. The world has been coming to end every year according to someone, for a long time now – it seems to still be here. Concentrate your efforts on your own personal development and this in turn will help those that are in your sphere of influence – its the only way to change the world.
9. Your Direction In Life – Your Future
Worrying about the future is futile because you have the ability to create it. Worry is negative goal setting and can easily be changed. Apply the lessons learnt in regard to getting crystal clear clarity and your future will be assured. This will also show you how to find your direction in life. Remember that without enabling your system to feel this is an impossible task.
Many people have addictive personalities and find that being addicted to something is the greatest challenge that they have in life. The list of addictions is long, here are some of the most common, illegal drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, pornography and food. Addictions may have a small physical component but they are psychological in nature. You use an addiction to block or distract your mind from perceived emotional pain. In other words if you don’t want to look at something an addiction will distract you.
There are also common but lesser known ways that people cope. When you don’t want to look at something your ego diverts you to something that keeps you busy. Again this list is long, hobbies and television are two things that come to mind. All addictions can be broken when the base issues are address as this relieves the pain and makes the addiction unnecessary.
11. Procrastination & Time Issues
Busy, busy, busy. Everyone seems to be too busy and of course the carefully designed distractions in life don’t help. You are led from your true path and goals by distractions and everyday iissues that can suck up your time. The solution can be as simple as;
- Make a list of your goals. Short term and long term.
- Order your list in regard to priority
- Break them down into their steps
- Create an order to the individual steps.
- Start – Yes now.
The question is will you do it? “They” say that most people will not write down their goals and therefore have no guide as to what to do next or where their priorities lie. Procrastination is usually one of two things. It’s your mind fighting back against what you don’t really want to do or else a fear of something is “freezing” you. Being aware of this is half the battle won.
12. Health Issues
Last but not least health and fitness. I know it’s now a cliche but your body really is a temple. It’s amazing that only a small percentage of people look after themselves. It’s all about moving the human body, being mindful of what you consume and it’s frequency. One factor that you may have neglected is stress. There are so many different things that stress your body and mind. Excessive anything will do this nicely. Be aware that there are a multitude of ways to address stress and this will make a huge difference to your life. My favourite is sitting quietly by myself, clearing my mind and relaxing my body. Gentle exercise also has a positive effect on stress.
All of the issues discussed can easily intermingle and it’s often difficult to see where one issue starts and finishes. Personal problems can be fixed if you learn to break them down to their smallest components far beyond the categories I have described above. This gives you enough clarity to dissolve the actual issue at hand instead of being overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge. It takes skill to look into a problem in this way and I can teach you how to do this.
Authors Details: Aymen Fares is an International Life Coach with clients all over the world. He is based in Melbourne Australia for personal appointments or you can benefit from coaching via Skype anywhere in the world.